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(Solved) please help me revise my essay, especially The underlined portion


please help me revise my essay, especially The underlined portion is what the professor pointed out that it contained too much information, and needs to break it down into two sentences, so the information is presented in a clearer way. 


?How to buy happiness?

 

?Can money buy happiness?? This has been a cliché question for centuries and there have

 

been numerous studies and debates on this topic. Yet, no one seems to have a definite answer. In

 

the video ?oney and Happiness?

 

M

 

, Michael Norton states explicitly that money does bring people

 

happiness if they spend it on other people (which is called prosocial spending) rather than on

 

themselves (which is called anti­social spending). Although his interesting and novel answer is

 

contrary to people?s natural instinct, it makes me reflect on my past experience of spending on

 

others and helps me understand the true benefits of this spending habit.

 

It is understandable that most people are more than willing to spend money on

 

themselves, either to buy necessities or to satisfy their personal desires, and I was one of those

 

people. Being the youngest child in my family, I was spoiled. My family members, especially

 

my grandfather, have always bought me whatever I desired without a blink of an eye. As a result,

 

I took their affection for granted and often spent money in a self­centered way. There have been

 

numerous occasions when I squandered money on clothing and accessories simply to please

 

myself. It was not until my grandfather?s birthday a few years ago that I realized it is not just

 

spending, but spending on others that promotes true happiness.

 

On that day, I decided to buy something for my doting grandfather. So I went to the mall

 

and bought a few shirts and a birthday card for him. Those gifts were not costly, so I did not

 

expect much reaction from my grandfather. However, the moment I presented my gift and said

 

?Happy Birthday? to my grandfather, I noticed an unprecedented facial expression. The smile

 

that lightened his face at that moment was unforgettable, and the fact that he was so deeply

 


 

touched by my little gifts left a great imprint on my heart. Never before had it occurred to me

 

that spending money on another would not only make that person happy but also make myself

 

even happier.

 

After watching Norton?s video, I finally found the reason for such happiness. In the video,

 

he describes how he used an experiment to confirm that the way a person spends his money

 

correlates with his level of happiness. ?

 

After running numerous similar experiments in different

 

parts of the world, he came to the conclusion that it does not matter how much you spend and

 

whether the money you spend on others was spent in a lofty or trivial manner, you still receive

 

the benefits of happiness. ?

 

Previously I thought the reasons why someone would choose to spend

 

money on another person were simply affection and a wish to make that person feel happy, but

 

Norton?s analysis gave me a different perspective on the relationship between spending habits

 

and levels of happiness. He presents his audience with a clear reality that the one who gives will

 

feel happier than the one who receives because there are many benefits to be derived from such

 

action, such as satisfaction, a sense of competence, a feeling of goodness, among others.

 

Since most of us focus too much on the momentary satisfactions we get from buying

 

material things for ourselves, it is necessary for us to realize that this spending habit will not

 

bring us true happiness. Through Norton?s analysis I have come to understand that spending

 

money on frivolous things to fulfill my inner desires is not worthwhile, since those things are

 

transient and superficial. I did feel happy and satisfied shortly after I had acquired them, but this

 

superficial sense of happiness does not remain but keeps fading away as time passes by.

 

According to Norton, we should stop thinking so much about what to buy for ourselves. Instead,

 

we should be thinking more about buying for others. I find this idea to be very true, since

 


 

observing how happy you make others feel by spending on them will actually make you feel

 

even happier.

 

We are all familiar with the old phrase ?it is more blessed to give than to receive?, but

 

seldom do we pause and try to analyze the reasoning behind it. One analogy that can be used to

 

reinforce this point is cooking. For instance, I love to cook, not only because I love food, but also

 

because it is a personal and intimate thing I can do and share with the people I love. Eating and

 

sharing the product I made with others definitely makes me feel happier than eating it alone.

 

Similarly, prosocial spending promotes greater happiness by creating a bond that connects you

 

with other people. This unique and valuable emotion is something you cannot receive from

 

anti?

 

­social spending.

 

Certainly, my personal example supports Norton?s argument, but Norton fails to point out

 

some crucial factors of why pro­social spending is always beneficial. These factors include the

 

reaction of the receiver and the results of the action. In other words, we will not feel happy about

 

spending on others if the receivers do not appreciate our good intentions, but we will feel

 

satisfied if we see our generous actions make a difference to someone else. Therefore there are

 

some prerequisites for pro­social spending in order to make it a mutually beneficial experience.

 

I have always found it a puzzling paradox in our money driven society nowadays that

 

most people spend so much of their time trying to make more money in order to attain happiness,

 

but having more money does not seem to make them much happier. Although Norton?s

 

explanation is not comprehensive enough, it enables me to have a new and better understanding

 


 

of my past spending experience and helps me realize what the best and right way to spend money

 

is.

 


 


 


 


 


 

 


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